I am going to vent here, would like some advice...probably a bit of a ramble
I have been trying to get divorced since mid 2014.  My ex first started with a bogus parenting plan proposal, which I fought.  We went through LCM and the case manager recommended shared residential custody.  The parenting agreement was established and enforced by the Judge.  My ex and her attorney continue to fight the shared ruling and keep seeking child support as if she is primary residence.  They have even gone as far as to count hours and say I have the kids 48% of the time to her 52% of the time.  Anyway, isn't shared residential custody at or near 50% of parenting time?  Since LCM has suggested shared residential custody, and the judge adopted it, shouldn't child support be calculated at the shared rate with the shared expense plan? 

Property division is another mess.  I purchased the residence before we got together but she served papers first.  I am willing to give up the house in exchange for me keeping 100% of my 401k.  Value of 401k and equity in the home were equal when we filed, seems straight forward right?  They are seeking 100% equity in the home, + half of my 401k.  I left the house with the old furniture, she kept all of the new.  They want to "dutch" auction the property in the home to divide it.

We have 2 kids together and we were common law married.  She has received spousal maintenance since we split and is seeking it for 5 more years at a much higher rate.  My understanding that in SGCO is if we were together 10 years, she should only get about 2.5 years of support, is this correct?

In the end, our mandatory settlement conference is in Oct and our trial is in Nov.  I have sent over multiple proposals on division of property, maintenance and also proper child support.  I factored in a 3 year average of bonuses and everything.  What they are trying to use is my best year financially and use that establish that as my income.  Keep in mind bonuses are variable and 100% at risk.  So each time they counter with what feels like scare tactics and moonshots.  They even went as far as calculating me paying her what amounted to being 60% of net pay each month.

What do judges look at during trial?  I have an LCM recommendation that has established shared residential custody.  I am very involved and take great care of the kids.  I pay and have paid spousal since mid year and her life has carried on fine.  Why should my spousal support go up by 20% and my child support double?  Are they assuming I am going to lay down before trial?  Since we have been apart so long, adopted the parenting plan, and she has lived with what I have paid, is that a factor for the judge?  Also, she has been uncooperative throughout, and is seeking that I pay her legal bills too.  WTF?

Lots to say, sorry for the rant.   

BMull, thank you for the response.

I feel like most of this on moms side has been to punish me, make me pay.  She is vindictive and angry that we didn't work out and has said as much to me.  Her "control" points to me are the time with the kids, which she tried to limit initially, argued LCM, was ticked when case manager ruled shared residency.   Tried to fight it, judge adopted.  Her next "control point" is money.  So her attorney and her are counting hours and say 48% dad and 52% mom, therefore dad should pay as if mom has full custody.  Then start asking for significantly more spousal maintenance.  It all feels financially motivated.

The formula is the formula, that is part of the problem. - fake numbers but close 
Shared with shared expense - Dad pays 600
Shared with mom paying all "direct expenses"  - dad pays 1100
Mom Primary - 1700 - and this includes what I think is a 15% parenting time adjustment.

The other thing to work through is spousal maintenance.  You have a couple that was common law married, together for 10 years.  She is seeking 10 years (the max) in her pre trial order, then has sent over 5 and 4 years in "settlement" proposals.  Bear in mind, she has a good job (RN) that is in high demand and she is well paid.  I don't think I should pay spousal for any longer than 2.5 years total at best, and I am already 18 months in...