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KSFather4Rights:
I created my own support group for father's seeking rights to their children.  Sadly, I am also trying to "buy" back my rights as a father. I say "buy" because, when you're a father who wants to see your child, and the mother won't allow it, it costs a small fortune. I pay my child support, I don't have a violent background, and I am a 100% fit parent. The mother of my child is very jealous, and still upset that I remarried 3 years ago. This is the only reason I have not been allowed to see my daughter. If you'd like to join me in my fight here's the link to my facebook account: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002336707997  Thank you, and good luck to everyone fighting the same fight!!

Guru:
Unfortunately your situation is all too common among KS fathers.  The state and the child support committee still hasn't quite caught on that fathers actually help balance the family and should not be treated simply as the cash cow.  Jealous and vindictive mothers should banned from having primary custody because they actually harm the kids by alienating them from their father.  I've been through the same thing and I know many other fathers on here have as well.

We'd like to help more.  Can you give some details on your specific situation?  What have you been through so far?  How long have you been involved in CS and custody?  What county are you in?

TheWifey:
We are going through this now. It's heartbreaking, to us and for the kids, who have long since given into the alienation and are now convinced their dad "abandoned" them. Our problems began when, during the first three months we dated, I took their daughter to a movie while my (now) husband took their son to the park. After she got home, his ex sent him a scathing email reprimanding him for allowing us to go to the movies without her consent and their daughter stopped regular visitations. I can count on my 10 fingers how many times we've seen her in the four years we've been together. It wasn't long before things spiraled completely out of control and, eventually, their son slowed down, then stopped his visitations as well. There are a lot of other details in between, but the bottom line is we don't see the kids and the court makes sure she gets all the money that she believes is due to her, but when my husband tries to share her nasty messages, alienation tactics and lies she tells directly to the court, they won't listen.

Guru:
Sorry to hear that.  Parental alienation is a very real thing that many families have to deal with.  To be honest, many separated parents don't understand that they already do many things to alienate the other parent unintentionally.  I think there's a lack of education and a lack of consequences for these activities.  These types of behaviors are so devastating to children, it's hard to understand.  But, there are always 2 sides to every story, and there's usually more things going on than just lies to keep a parent away.

I've been in your shoes.  It's so easy to give up and give in.  And albeit sometimes its the best thing.  But, as you can already see, the kids may be set up for a lifetime of resentment if the record isn't set straight.  You can't set the record straight to a child by telling them, you have to show them.  If the kids are taught that a parent won't feed them and they won't have fun, then take the kids out to eat and take them to play mini golf or something fun.  Positive contact is the only way to battle parental alienation in a child's mind.  Court is another issue.
 

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